Parenting and Expectations: How Making This One Change Dramatically Increased My Happiness

A few years ago my husband and I made a shift in how we managed our weekends that completely changed my level of happiness. We went from dreading our weekends to setting realistic expectations for our family that lead to an increase in our happiness.

I used to dread the weekends.

The weekdays while I was at work, were my only break from being a mom. I was able to speak to other adults, have intellectual conversations, finish a whole meal before it went cold, and enjoy a coffee while it was hot. I lived for Mondays.

This was a stark contrast to my weekends. I was expected to be "on" the entire time. And it felt like no matter what my husband or I did with our kids, it was never enough. Someone was always upset and we left activities with most of us in tears.

We finally decided that something needed to change. We needed to adjust our expectations and ensure that everyone was on the same page. We started calling family meetings on Fridays during dinner.

During these meetings, we each took turns and went around the table saying one thing we expected to do or achieve over the weekend, within reasonable limits. Sometimes the kids would say that they were hoping to go somewhere or have something specific for dinner. Depending on how I was feeling, some weekends I would ask for some alone time to go on a walk, or other times I would ask for a family activity, like going to the beach or the aquarium. Some weekends my husband would ask for time to finish a household project or would ask for time to do a hobby like skateboarding with our son.

Naming the specific things we were all expecting out of the weekend gave us a focus and a direction. My husband and I then had a blueprint for our weekend. We took everyone's expectation and came up with a plan.

Over the next few months, we started to notice some major improvements in our family's happiness. When we were able to set realistic expectations and achieve them, we were all a lot happier.

Slowly, over time, I started to look forward to my weekends again. I was able to find joy in the small moments and knowing that everyone's priorities were being taken into account, it gave me peace and lowered my anxiety.

Fast forward to today, and I absolutely love my weekends. Now that the weather is nice, my favorite place is our back patio. I love having the family all cuddled up, enjoying snacks, and spending quality time together.

I hope that some of this resonates with you, and if you ever need someone to connect with, I love speaking with parents about this journey. Please don't hesitate to give me a call or send me an email. I am always happy to support and direct you to someone that can help your family. You can find me at This World's Ours Centre in Vancouver.

Take care,

Koryn